If you're undergone a breakup recently, you probably feel completely out of control of your emotions - and your future. It's normal to invest a large majority of your own hopes and dreams within a relationship with another person. When that relationship ends, it seems like the loss of much, much more than just a romantic involvement. It marks the loss of hopes, dreams, security, comfort and even friendship. You do have control of one thing - yourself. You can turn the tide and get your ex back again, but only if you're willing to make a genuine effort and avoid costly mistakes in the process.
Step 1: Come to Terms With Reality:
Nothing gives you a reality check quite like a breakup that you were completely unprepared for. There are a thousand thoughts clashing in your brain, and you desperately want to get your side of the story out in the open. You have counter-arguments to every excuse your ex put on the table, and you don't feel like you were adequately heard.
As harsh as it may seem, now is not the time to force your ex into a long debate. Their mind is already set, and you're just not going to change it. The last thing you want is for your ex to view you as unstable, clingy or attention-starved. If they do, changing that perception down the road is going to be a much more difficult prospect. As counter-intuitive as it may seem, your best option at this moment is to give your ex ground and accept their decision. You're going to change their minds later on - but now is simply not the time.
Step 2: Temporarily Walk Away:
You do not have to be completely be over your ex in order to take some time for yourself. In fact, taking some moments to yourself in order to assess the situation and handle some of your negative emotions can be largely beneficial to you personally - as well as the likelihood of getting your ex back. Although your ex may insist that they're ready to move full speed ahead alone or with someone new, they're still vulnerable. There are counting on you as a safety net so they've been keeping a watchful eye on you to see how you're reacting to the aftermath of the breakup overall.
By taking a break and limiting the contact that your ex has with you, you're shaking the very ground of what they believed to be a firm foundation. When trouble strikes, they'll have nowhere to turn and they will start to doubt the breakup - and your true feelings for them as well. If they can't see you hurting, they will automatically assume that you're doing okay, even when nothing could be further from the truth. The need for validation and reassurance will ultimately win out over their need to distance themselves from your relationship and they'll be anxious to reach out by any available means.
Step 3: Become the Best Possible You:
If you take an honest look at yourself right now in this moment, what would you change if you could? Why would you change those things? Would you do it because you think that's what your ex ultimately wants, or are they areas that genuinely need some work?
If your answer was the later, then you have a golden opportunity ahead of you. You get the unique perspective of viewing yourself in a crucial moment in time - and you have every opportunity and ability to make necessary changes. No one is perfect and human nature is flawed. We grow over time and while growth can be productive, it is not always easily noticeable. Sometimes you have to take the opportunities you're given, and you're not likely to get an opportunity more profound or potentially valuable than this one.
Remembering the beginning stages of your relationship can give you some valuable clues. It can point out things that have taken a turn throughout the course of your relationship and give you important clues towards possible contributing factors. By addressing those issues and striving for improvement you can focus on yourself and give yourself the perfect opportunity to evolve into someone who is overall more confident, self-assured and pleasant to be around.
Step 4: Allow Your Ex to Pursue You:
Now you will finally start to see the results of all of your efforts and hard work. You've undergone an enormous transformation and if you think it's gone unnoticed you're in for a big surprise. Your ex is starting to realize that you're keeping your distance on purpose. When they realize they can't reach out to you at will, the panic is going to start sinking in.
That panic is going to start causing a reaction that will be unavoidable. They will start testing the boundaries. They mistakenly thought that they could maintain control indefinitely - and they were wrong. Their risk is seeming less profitable and more risky by the moment and when they realize that reconnecting is not as simple as sending a simple text message, they're going to have to come up with another plan - one that will put you in the best possible position to win your ex back.
Why leave something this important to random fate? When reconnecting is this important you want to put all your ducks in a row to make your dream a reality.
What To Do Next
Now that you understand the basics, it is time to takes things up a notch. First you have to understand the no contact rule and how that works to make your ex start chasing you and seeing you in a more mysterious and positive light.
You should also be aware of signs ex still likes you. Knowing where you stand is a necessary part of getting your ex back. The last thing that you want is to make a fool of yourself in front of them.
Source: http://www.streetarticles.com/reconnecting/getting-your-ex-back-in-4-steps-how-its-done
quirky chrissy teigen chia seeds embers shannon brown mike rowe shld
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